FINAL of 50 Faiths - Personal Experience

I have been remiss on writing my church blogs because I've had to work the last few Sundays.
 
And after an experience 2 months ago, I won't be pursuing the 50 faiths any longer.  Not because I didn't find what I was looking for, just the opposite, because what I needed was given to me in my own living room, not in a church.

I've thought for a few weeks about whether to write this particular blog or not.  But I decided that my journey, although deeply personal, is being shared for a purpose.  And if I didn't share this experience, then all the rest of my stories would be missing a very important element - and that element is my personal Faith.

I didn't begin the  journey of 50 Faiths to "find God" - as I've mentioned before, it was to fulfull a commitment, to become aware and open-minded, and to become educated enough to earn the right to have an opinion about religion in general.  And to help overcome my social anxieties.

I had planned on attending these services without the awareness of a God, something I haven't believed in for many years.  I have overcome many, many obstacles in my life with the use of reason, science, psychology and sheer will. 

But a few weeks ago, I was in a dark lonely place.  I had emotionally fallen and couldn't get up.  And although my dear friends and family rallied around me with selfless devotion and support, I felt myself slipping into the abyss.  I was losing the battle and I was terrified.  And my beloved Science, my well-trained cognitive therapy tricks, just weren't working.  In fact, I simply couldn't process what was happening to me.

And in my darkest moment, perhaps the lowest level of anguish that I have ever experienced, I got on my knees.  Not because I Believed, but because I had no where else to go.    And I ask, no I begged, for help.  I cried out for any assistance to help me get off that floor and find my way back.  And then I got stood up, expecting nothing.

Within moments, an event occurred that my Beloved Science can never explain.  I don't know what I had hoped would happen, but this occurence was definitely not what I would have considered a Miracle.  In fact, the emotional pain in that moment was so intense that I felt completely hopeless.  And yet, it began to become clear that a Presence had been made known to me.  And in such a manner, that for the rest of my life, I can never doubt it again.  

I am forever altered from that moment.  And although I found my way back, I have felt like a different person ever since.  Not someone foreign to myself, but just the opposite, I have felt like ME.  It was my experience, and it wouldn't have much meaning to anyone else.  But I believe it was meant for me, it was my personal gift.  And my spiritual nudge. 

And although I will continue to rely on my science, my reason and my common sense to guide me through life's twists and turns, it's sure nice to know that I also have a little extra support as well. 

#2 of 50 Faiths

 

234 sharon amity road, charlotte, nc 28211  |  tel 704.366.8623 

If you aren't familiar with a Uniterian Church, you certainly should give it a visit.  Because regardless of your religious faith, it's a gathering of people who share one main interest: Justice for All.  Their "doctine" isn't about any organized faith, but rather about finding a spiritual purpose, seeking truth, respecting and accepting all people...and most importantly, peace.  It's like the Peace Core of Churches. 

I arrived at the church a few minutes late so I had to wait in a line in a stairwell until the usher let us in during a moment of applause.   Once inside, the room looked more like a convention meeting hall than a church.  There were no crosses, stained glass or bibles.  But there was a stage, a podium and long wooden pews.  And a piano/organ.  The congregation consisted of about 125 people, mainly 30-50 yrs old and couples.  [only 2 single guys my friend pointed out]. The dress code ranged from casual to a little more dressy.  There white candles burning and everyone began to sing from a non-denomination hymnal.  I've never understood the singing ritual.  And at this point, I still don't.  I don't find singing or listening to people sing around me particularly uplifting or spiritual.  In fact, it's rather annoying.  I'm hoping to understand it sometime this year. 

The minister wore a suit and when he began to speak, I thought this was really going to be boring.  He took long pauses and seemed rather dry. But once I got used to his mannerisms, I began to enjoy his speech. He made jokes and enunciated with the voice of an educated scholar.  The first thing I noticed was he never mentioned God or Jesus.  This was his first visit back from a 6 month sabbitical.  And instead of talking about all the experiences that I'm sure he had, he spoke instead of general theories, especially the idea of change.  He asked if people could really change?  And he said he believed so, or he wouldn't be doing this work.

There is no doubt I will be hearing about Jesus and his wisdom for the next 48 weeks.  Most churches rely strictly on the Holy Bible for reference.  But what really impressed me was he quoted words from such great minds as Thomas Paine, T.S. Elliott, Henry David Thoreau, Steinbach and Maya Angelou.  I began to respect such an open-minded individual.  He said "a new beginning always begans with an ending".  I find that to be so very, very true.    He also said that "self culture is the true work of life".    I felt that his message was simply, do the best you can and be aware of those around you.  Toward the end, he thanked everyone that had contributed in his absence and he stated "the risk of gratitude is that the list is always incomplete".  Amen to that. 

My most uncomfortable moments in any religious service are the rituals.  The standing up/sitting down, singing, lighting candles, etc.  It brings to mind the cult-like behavior of people being controlled by one individual.  My perfect "church" would have none of this.  But at least the rituals in this church were not prayer or kneeling, just quiet meditation time. 

A wonderful, unexpected surprise occurred when a visiting bluegrass band stood up and performed.  They were incredible and the drummer played a "suitcase" instead of a bass drum.  Personally, that was the best part for me.

But I did experience a very touching moment.  I have never seen my parents touch or show any affection.  My homelife was violent and full of turmoil and chaos.  But as I scanned the crowd, I saw an elderly couple glance at one another and clasp hands.  They held hands during the entire service and occasionally smiled at each other.  It was a precious sight indeed. 

#1 of 50 Faiths

Transit, Sunday Mornings 10:30am
Center Stage
2315 N. Davidson St.
Charlotte, NC
704.644.0919

With no idea what to expect for the first time attending church as an adult,

 I decided to start simple. So I attended a "non-church".

I chose Watershed because of the convenience factor.  The studio where I work is located behind their meeting location at Center Stage.  I had driven by on numerous Sundays and seen young people, dressed very casually, hanging out in the parking lot and drinking coffee....as always, I dismissed the whole scene as cult members and kept driving.  If I'd only known that one day I'd be walking in those doors...

I arrived on time that morning but was too afraid to walk in early and perhaps chance being pounced on by avid cult members trying to save my soul.  So I sat in my car and sipped on coffee.  And called my mother.  I was surprised at how nervous I was.  When I got the nerve to get out of the car and approach the doors, my hands began to tremble, my eyes filled with tears and I told my mom {who was still on the phone with me} "I don't think I can do this".  I paused in the parking lot.  I was about to do something I said I'd never do.  I didn't believe or agree with anything that went on in this building.  I considered going home - I hadn't told anyone about my New Year's Resolution - so no one would know that I failed at my first attempt.  But then, that was the point - to force myself to participate in social environments outside my norm.  To practice open-mindedness. So I opened the door.

Two young people smiled and handed me pamphlets.  They didn't make the sign of the cross or do anything spooky so I walked on in.  There was a large table filled with coffee and pastries.  I thought that was very inviting but I was too nervous to make eye contact with anyone.  {I love Center Stage, it's one of my favorite venues.  So as far as the decor goes, I was very comfortable in the beautiful, airy, brightly colored building.  It's a gorgeous warehouse with high ceilings and modern, contemporary decor.} And I loved the fact that they "recycled" a venue, instead of wasting thousands of donation dollars to build a new one.  I assumed that allowed more funding to go toward good causes.    I was even more comfortable when I noticed there weren't any crosses or stained glass windows.  I almost relaxed.

Until I walked into the "meeting room" which was just rows of chairs and a large stage with video screens.   I chose a seat near the back {I always hide in large groups} and noticed a stack of bibles at the end of the aisle.  I stiffened.  Just relax and sit down I told myself.  You knew there would be bibles here.  Once sitting, I looked around.  The first thing I noticed was no none was staring at me.  And I was surprised.  I get stared at a lot due to my appearance but especially in an environment like this I expected to stand out.  Truthfully, no one seemed to notice me. 

The first thing I noticed was that everyone was so young.  I'd guess the majority of people were 20-40 yrs old.  And they all had on jeans, sweaters, t-shirts - a very hip and artsy styled crowd.  Second was the stage and live band.  It was a fairly large stage with a "pop-rock" band, all young guys playing instruments in front of 3 large video screens.  The band started playing and the in-sync video feed started on the screens. {Immediately I started getting visions of Pink Floyd's The Wall music video with classrooms of kids being brainwashed by exposure to rapidly flashing videos...} I have never heard live music in a church before. Much less video screens.  It seemed a little overdone and too rehearsed for my taste, but I realize this is a modern service.  You could sing along with the words, kinda karaoke style.   I didn't sing.  And I didn't stand up.  I was the only one sitting.  But no one seemed to care. 

Then the pastor came on stage.  An attractive, fit man wearing jeans and a long sleeve tshirt.  He was very charasmatic, yet laid back at the same time.  He cracked jokes and told stories.  He explained that Watershed was a church for those who had left the church.  For those that didn't believe in church or had experienced bad or traumatic events in church.  I felt like he was speaking directly to me.  The atmosphere was relaxed.  But at some point, he started talking about Jesus.  And scriptures started appearing on the video screen.  The only way I can describe his "sermon" was to say that I felt like I was attending a positive speaking seminar - only the topic was Jesus.  He wore a headset and moved around a lot.  You could tell he was very comfortable on stage and probably had done this for quite a while.  I felt he was sincere, and although I didn't feel pressured to accept Jesus as my savior, I did get a strong impression that it would be a good idea if I did. Although thankfully, I wasn't threatened with eternal damnation if I didn't.  He made the choice seem very simple and well, you almost couldn't see a reason not to.  Except that I don't believe, so I didn't.

Toward the end of the service, he mentioned something about communion, I don't know what that is exactly but people started gathering up front and I knew some creepy ritual was about to begin so I gathered my things and snuck out the back door (and I noticed another guy did too).   Besides, doesn't communion crackers have carbs?

As I was leaving, I realized the social  aspect can't be denied.  From someone with only a couple family members, it is indeed a tempting community.  You just don't feel so alone.  And it appears that people in this environment  lower the veil of judgement long enough to accept you in the moment.

Overall, it was  very positive experience.  I have a feeling, facing 49 more faiths this year that are considerably more organized and fundamental, this will be more than likely one of the better experiences.

Watershed being marketed as the "UNchurch", I feel that I cheated a little bit. But you gotta start somewhere, right?   Lesson learned?  That regardless of the reason, people can come together for a positive cause, get inspired and hopefully leave with a new motivation to live their daily lives with a more accepting attitude.