FINAL of 50 Faiths - Personal Experience

I have been remiss on writing my church blogs because I've had to work the last few Sundays.
 
And after an experience 2 months ago, I won't be pursuing the 50 faiths any longer.  Not because I didn't find what I was looking for, just the opposite, because what I needed was given to me in my own living room, not in a church.

I've thought for a few weeks about whether to write this particular blog or not.  But I decided that my journey, although deeply personal, is being shared for a purpose.  And if I didn't share this experience, then all the rest of my stories would be missing a very important element - and that element is my personal Faith.

I didn't begin the  journey of 50 Faiths to "find God" - as I've mentioned before, it was to fulfull a commitment, to become aware and open-minded, and to become educated enough to earn the right to have an opinion about religion in general.  And to help overcome my social anxieties.

I had planned on attending these services without the awareness of a God, something I haven't believed in for many years.  I have overcome many, many obstacles in my life with the use of reason, science, psychology and sheer will. 

But a few weeks ago, I was in a dark lonely place.  I had emotionally fallen and couldn't get up.  And although my dear friends and family rallied around me with selfless devotion and support, I felt myself slipping into the abyss.  I was losing the battle and I was terrified.  And my beloved Science, my well-trained cognitive therapy tricks, just weren't working.  In fact, I simply couldn't process what was happening to me.

And in my darkest moment, perhaps the lowest level of anguish that I have ever experienced, I got on my knees.  Not because I Believed, but because I had no where else to go.    And I ask, no I begged, for help.  I cried out for any assistance to help me get off that floor and find my way back.  And then I got stood up, expecting nothing.

Within moments, an event occurred that my Beloved Science can never explain.  I don't know what I had hoped would happen, but this occurence was definitely not what I would have considered a Miracle.  In fact, the emotional pain in that moment was so intense that I felt completely hopeless.  And yet, it began to become clear that a Presence had been made known to me.  And in such a manner, that for the rest of my life, I can never doubt it again.  

I am forever altered from that moment.  And although I found my way back, I have felt like a different person ever since.  Not someone foreign to myself, but just the opposite, I have felt like ME.  It was my experience, and it wouldn't have much meaning to anyone else.  But I believe it was meant for me, it was my personal gift.  And my spiritual nudge. 

And although I will continue to rely on my science, my reason and my common sense to guide me through life's twists and turns, it's sure nice to know that I also have a little extra support as well.